Playlist Date & Time: 2/13/2010 12:00AM - 3:00AM
Program: Blues in the Night with Jamie Dell'Apa
Special Show Blog Post: Mardi Gras is the Will of Landrieu
The Return of The Archons
Stardate: 3156.2
Original Airdate: Feb 9, 1967
| [Street]
(Two men in colonial style clothing, complete with tri-corn hats, are running for their lives. One falls.) [Bridge] SULU [OC]: Come in. [Street] SULU: Captain, beam us up quick. Emergency. [Bridge] KIRK: Transporter room, lock onto Sulu and O'Neil. Beam up immediately. [Street] O'NEIL: We've got to make a run for it. We can't just stand here. [Transporter room] KIRK: Sulu, what is it? Where's Lieutenant O'Neil? Captain's Log. Stardate 3156.2. While orbiting planet Beta Three trying to find some trace of the starship Archon that disappeared here a hundred years ago, a search party consisting of two Enterprise officers were sent to the planet below. Mister Sulu has returned, but in a highly agitated mental state. His condition requires I beam down with an additional search detail. [Street] (The extensive landing party is now in more late 19th Century American style clothes, with bootlace ties and long jackets. Spock has a cape with the hood raised to cover his ears.) [Hallway] (Three older men turn in surprise.) [Room] (Reger shows them into a sparsely furnished room with bunk beds, and turns up the gas light.) [Hallway] REGER: No, no it's all over now. It's all over now, child. That's all right. Quiet. [Drawing room] MCCOY: She's asleep. [Street] (They hurry slowly, smiling and bowing to passers by.) [Chamber] (Reger leads them into a building made of massive stones. He goes over to a corner and unwraps a flat panel, which gives off light.) [Bridge] SCOTT: Captain, we're under attack. There are heat beams of some kind coming up from the planet surface. [Chamber] SCOTT [OC]: If we try to warp out or move on impulse, we'll lose our shields and burn up like a cinder. [Bridge] SCOTT: Checking. We're going down, Captain. Unless we can get those beams off us so we can use our engines, we're due to hit atmosphere in less than twelve hours. [Chamber] KIRK: Keep your shield up. Do everything you can to maintain orbit. We'll try and locate the source of the beam and stop it here. Captain's log, stardate 3157.4. The Enterprise, still under attack by some sort of heat rays from the surface of Beta Three, is now being commanded by Engineering Officer Scott. The shore party has been taken by the creature called Landru. [Prison] (Kirk wakes up in a chamber very like the previous one, constructed of large stone blocks, but without the furniture. A stone door has no handle on the inside. His communicator and phaser are gone.) [Absorption chamber] (Kirk is secured to the wall by his wrists. A stout bald man comes in and relieves the Lawgiver on duty.) [Prison] (Spock is attempting a mind meld on McCoy.) [Absorption Chamber] (Kirk is released and greets Spock with an inane smile on his face.) [Prison] SPOCK: Captain. [Bridge] SCOTT: Mister Spock, I've been trying to reach you. [Prison] SPOCK: Report, Scott. [Bridge] SCOTT: The orbit's still decaying. I give it six hours, more or less. [Prison] SCOTT [OC]: Those heat beams are still on us. You've got to cut them off, Mister Spock, or we'll cook. [Bridge] SCOTT: On Sulu? [Prison] KIRK: That's an order. Watch him. Captain out. [Hall of Audiences] (outside the door) [Bridge] SCOTT: Captain, are you all right? [Hall of Audiences] KIRK: What about the ship? [Bridge] SCOTT: The heat rays are gone, Captain, and Mister Sulu's back to normal. [Hall of Audiences] KIRK: Excellent, Scotty. Stand by to beam up landing party. Let's go and see how the others are doing. Marplon can finish up here. Captain's log, stardate 3158.7 The Enterprise is preparing to leave Beta Three in Star system C One Eleven. Sociologist Lindstrom is remaining behind with a party of experts who will help restore the planet's culture to a human form. [Bridge]
SPOCK: Marvellous. |
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Star Trek and Landrieu Mayoral Ads
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Galactic
Welcome to New Orleans
Coolin Off
For all you aliens coming to New Orleans for the first time, Galactic gives you warning and the gem of wisdom - welcome to the third world
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Armand St. Martin
Must Be The Mardi Gras
Alligator Ball
Yep, everything is upside down during Mardi Gras. It's like a annual absurdity festival. Kind of like the below video from the ancient Star Trek episode, Return of the Archons:
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
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Hawketts
Mardi Gras Mambo
Chess Story
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Harry Shearer
Mr. Burns
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Fats Domino
Mardi Gras in New Orleans
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Dorothy
Oz - Not in Kansas Any More
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Snooks Eaglin
I Went To The Mardi Gras
Heavy Juice
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Dragnet
I'm Hung Over - Come Over Tomorrow
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Earl King
Street Parade
Mardi Gras in New Orleans
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Start this at about 01:50. Seems Kirk and company didn't go to the Mardi Gras (regardless of musical incentives of that last set). So the cops in hoodies go to investigate.
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15 Megatones
Hot Stuff
Rockabilly Girl
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Scotty
Captain, What Do We Do?
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Marvin Rainwater
Hot and Cold
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Scotty
I'm Going Down Captain
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John Kerby
Get Hot Or Go Home
Rockin' Bones
Proper
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Billy Riley and His Little Green Men
Red Hot
Anthology
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
So now Enterprise is being cooked by heat beams (picture the plastic model inside an Easy Bake Oven). Our landing party guys are running away from the slow moving, easily confused cops. Easily confused because these cops somehow can't seem to handle dissent. Hmmmm. We're talking plot hint here.
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Larry Williams
Bad Boy
At His Finest
A set of music about dissenters, bad boys and JDs. Earthlings like our landing party.
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Fred Rogers
You Know Who I Am?
Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood
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Jive Bombers
Bad Boy
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Bobby Lollar
Bad Bad Boy
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Ronnie Allen
Juvenile Delinquent
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Frankie Lymon
I'm Not a Juvenile Delinquent
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Star Trek
Return Of The Archons
The slow cops finally put the landing party in jail. Kind of a slow speed chase but without the white bronco.
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Joey Weltz
Shore Party
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Star Trek
The Return Of The Archons
While in very cheap-to-produce-set of a jail, the shore party can babble on and develop the plot without changing sets adding new actor salaries or any other expensive dynamics. Nothing helps the bottom line like cheap-to-film imprisonment plots. The babbles keep telegraphing the plot line that this society is run by a computer. To keep enough mystery to draw this 30 minute plot into a full hour, they don't guess the computer might also be named Landrieu. (Or was the name Vyger or Voyager. Nah that was some other movie.) Before they supply the obvious connection and ruin the plot, Kirk and company get sprung by some fifth columnists.
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HAL 9000
2001
Okay, we've telegraphed this plotline for about 30 minutes of TV time and 90 minutes of radio time. Yep, the society is run by a computer. Captain Kirk comes up with this amazingly complex plan to make the computer go au natural by unplugging it. Now they're off to see the Wizard. Oh whoops, same plot line, same funny costumes and wacked out characters but wrong recycled movie. I know, you've heard this plot line so many times before. The "we computers are infallible," "we outer-space guys are infallible," "we boxing foes of Rocky are infallible," "we (insert ethic group name here) stereotype professional wrestler are infallible..." Hey, I wonder if this formula would work on right wing radio too. I bet Glenn Beck will present evidence that Democrats even used the words, "Puny Earthlings." Oh yeah, what about that missing story line of "who is Landrieu?" |
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Richard Berry
The Big Break
Lyrics about escaping from prison
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HAL 9000
Open The Pod Bay Doors
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Invictas
Over The Wall
More prison escape lyrics
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HAL 9000
Sorry Dave, I Can't Do That
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Little Band of Gold
Prisoner's Song
JazzFest 2005
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Morgan Freeman
Prison takes your life....
Shawshank
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Persuasions
When I Leave These Prison Walls
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Gotta learn about Landrieu to free the ship from the heat beams. Cheez, isn't this the same plot for every episode? Why don't they wrap the ship in tin foil to reflect the beams. They could take a collection from the triangle hats that the Trek fans wear.
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Lee Mitchell and The Combo
Who's That Big Man?
Blue Cat Rockabilly Collection
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Okay Mr. Intellectual Dissident, Mr. Fifth Columnist, Mr. Idealist College Professor - if you want your freedom you've gotta take us crummy actors to your leader. What's his name again? Landrieu?
Ah, does he have a sister who dithered until health care died?
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Barons
Who's in the Shack
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Jack Nicholson
Come Out Wherever You Are
The Shining
A rare, weather and topically appropriate sound clip - searching for Landrieu on a freezing night in New Orleans.
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Christine Kittrell
Mr. Big Wheel
Shagger's Delight
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Wizard of Oz
The Great Oz Has Spoken
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Link Davis
Don't Big Shot Me
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Finally, the writers spell it out - the people are controlled by a computer so they don't have any soul. The computer can't handle dissent.
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Wizard of Oz
Ignore the man behind the curtain
Could this tired old plot device work yet again? Landrieu, a compromised human, is the ghost in the machine. Brilliant - this will keep this goofy series going for generations.
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Little Richard
Ooh! My Soul
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Plan 9 From Outer Space
The earthlings' soul is too controlled
Another Academy Award winner with the same outer-space-no-human-soul story line.
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Tower of Power
Soul Vaccination
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Joseph August
Rock My Soul
Rock My Soul
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Star Trek
Take me to your leader
Yep - you've gotta have this cliche in most Star Trek episodes.
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Timmie Rodgers
Take Me To Your Leader
Greasy Rock and Roll
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
So one dissident flips out before taking Kirk and Company to Landrieu. (The evil cowardice character for the Trek fans who traded their tin foil hats for lives as Ayn Rand zombies.) However, the other dissident finds that inner strength to save society and take Captain Kirk to Landrieu. (Let's call him Howard Roark a.k.a. Howard the Rapist.)
There, the true believers will dress like Bell South employees (who forget their id in the car - a line that always works on liquor store employees and federal employees) and get their hands on their exclusive brand of veritus. Oh, wait - wrong Landrieu and way too many story lines here in playlist land. |
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The Wild Tones
The Martian Band
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Bones
He's not working on all thrusters
Star Trek
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Jive 5
People From Another World
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James Earl Jones
The emperor has been expecting you
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Bo Diddley
Bo Meets The Monster
Monster Rock and Roll Show
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Surprise! Landrieu is a computer. Who could have guessed it?
Kirk tells Spock to unplug Landrieu but Landrieu destroys their phaser weapons. Oh wait... Landrieu/Landru doesn't get around to destroying the humans. A reloading problem or does the Landru computer feel compelled to make a threatening speech first.
Why can't villains close deals without these speechifying delays? It never fails that the their sloppy follow through always lets the heros get away. Isn't there a villain training camp where they cover this most common mistake of villain-hood? And aren't prisons supposed to be graduate schools of crime. Come on - replace speechifying with deal closing in the curriculum.
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HAL 9000
Hal knows the plan and can't let it happen
Look, even the evil HAL9000 in the movie "2001" got screwed in this same situation. And even when HAL knew he was going to go the way of the Vista operating system, he still goes into the speechifying mode.
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Travelers
Teenage Machine Age
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Star Trek
Return of the Archons
Okay, so the heros have lost their weapons and they've got to think their way out of their impending death. Thankfully the evil computer's speech goes on long enough that our heros the time to out think the brainiac. They crush the computer like a crouton by giving it contradictory sentences. Something pseudo-metaphysical but still base enough for the stoners who took inspiration from this TV show. This ending is so typical that between each song we'll play sound clips of this recycled ending. |
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Unknown
Jet Black Machine
Can't recall this artist...
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Mose Allison
Swinging Machine
The Sage of Tippo
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In' Machine
Richard Berry
Johnny Otis Presents: The Best of Rhythm and Blues
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Star Trek
The Return of the Archons
Faced with contradicting instructions, the Landrieu computer voice becomes strained - it cries like a human baby and eventually implodes. Just like HAL 9000. Just like your home computer when you add a new operating system.
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Don Cole
Lie Detector Machine
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Star Trek
The Return of the Archons
The Captain's Log summary of the episode with some wry dialog that teases Spock and (again) firmly places human characteristics as superior to computers (and Spock). Ooooooouuuu! Now the viewers ought to have that unjustified sense of superiority that'll keep 'em unemployed, stoned and watching daytime reruns for decades. Or worse, allowing their true believer sensibilities to be shaped by the Rupurt Murdock media empire of today. |
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Ferlin Huskey
I'll Sail My Ship Alone
What other song would be appropriate for the fly-away shot?
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Daffy Duck
Duck Dodgers in the 21st Century
Loony Tunes overlays so well with Star Trek seriousness.
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Charlie Ryan
Hot Rod Rocket
It's true the public radio and alternative newspaper restaurant critic of Salt Lake City is the nephew of Charlie Ryan? Or so Ted Scheffler claims. Enough of this Landrieu, Star Trek, Mardi Gras audio world.
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Amos Milburn
Let's Have A Party
Complete Alladin Recordings
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