From the great boxing writer turned attorney and regular WWOZ listener:
Now look at all you cats and kitties out there whippin' and wailin' and jumpin' up and down and suckin' up all that juice and pattin' each other on the back and hippin' each other who the greatest cat in the world is: Mr. Malenkov, Mr. Talenkov, Mr. Eisenhower, Mr. Wozenweezer, Mr. Wisenwoser, Mr. Woodhill, Mr. Beachill an' Mr. Churchill and all them hills gonna' get you straight. If they can't get you straight, they know a cat that knows a cat who'll straighten you. But I'm gonna put a cat on you, was the coolest, grooviest, sweetest, wailinest, strongest, swinginest cat that ever stomped on this jumpin' green sphere and they called this here cat the Naz.
He was a carpenter kitty. Now the Nazz was the kind of a cat that come on so cool and so groovy and so with it that when he laid it down, whabam! It stayed there! Naturally all the rest of the cats said, "Man, look at that cat wail! He's wailin' up a storm up there. Hey, eh, ain't it down right? Hey, get off my back Jack! What's the matter with you? I'm tryin' to dig what the cat's puttin' down!" They're pushin' the Nazz to dig his miracle lick, and the Nazz say, "Cool, babies. Tell ya' what I'm gonna do. I ain't gonna take two, four six, eight of you cats, but I'm gonna take all twelve of you studs and straighten you all at the same time. Say, you cats look like you pretty hip." He say, "You buddy with me."
So The Nazz and his buddies was goofin' off down the boulevard one day and they run into a little cat with the bent frame. So The Nazz look at this little cat with the bent frame and he say, "What's a matter wit' you, baby?" Little cat with the bent frame he said, "My frame is bent Nazz, it's been bent from in front." So The Nazz look at the little cat with a bent frame and he put the golden eyes of love on this here little kitty and he look right down into the window of the little cat's soul and he say to the little cat, he say, "Straighten!" Vrooom - Boom! Up went that cat like an arrow and everybody jumpin' up and down say "Look what The Nazz put on that boy! Hah-hah. You dug him before," said "re-dig him now!"
Everybody talkin' about The Nazz, what a great cat he was, how he swung with the glory of love, how he straighten out all the squares, how he stomp into the money changin' cart and kicked the short change all over the place and knockin' the corners off the squares. How he put it down to the one cat, dug it, didn't dig it. Put it down twice, dug it, didn't dig it. Put it down the third time, dug it, boom, walked away with his eyes buggin' out to here bumpin' into everybody. And they're pullin' on The Nazz's coat tail, they want him to sign the autograph. They want him to do a gig here, do a gig there, play the radio, play the video; He can't make all that jazz!
Like I 'splained to you he's a carpenter kitty, got his own lick. But when he know he should go and show and blow, and cannot go, cause he got too much strain on him, straightenin' out the squares...he sends a coupla' these cats that he's hippin'.
So came a little sixty-cent gig one day and the Nazz was in a bind, and he put it on a coupla' boys. He said, "Boys, take care of that for me, would ya?" "Take it off your wig Nazz, we'll cool it." And they started out to straightin' it out for the Nazz. And they got about half way to where they were goin' and they came to a little old twenty-cent pool of water and they got right in the pool of water with the boat and all of a sudden, BLAM, the lightnin' flashin' and the thunder roarin' and the boat is goin' up and down and these poor cats figurin' every minute gonna' be their last and one cat look up and...here come the Nazz...cool as anyone you see, right across the water STOMPIN'!
And there was a little cat on board, I think his name was Jude. He said, "Hey, Nazz, can I make it out there with'ya?" And The Nazz say, "Make it, Jude!" Ol' Jude went stompin' off that boat took four steps, dropped his whole cart. Phhhhhiiiiittt, Nazz had to stash him back on board.
So The Nazz say, "Say, what seems to be troublin' you boys? Heh heh. Say, you hittin' on that SOS'in' bell pretty hard. You gonna' bend that bell knockin' on it like that." One of the cats say, "What's eatin' ya? Oh, can't ya see the storm's goin' and the lightnin' flashin' and the thunder roarin'!" And The Nazz say, "I told you stay cool didn't I babies?" To the people who don't know, that means to believe, to stay cool is to be, to have the sweet fragrance of serenity rock your wig. See. So now everybody's talkin' about the Nazz.
Ooh, this beautiful, swingin' man. How he's settin' the country on fire with great sparks of great love like a swingin' non-stop satellites goin' through all the lanes and valleys and puttin' down the scene with such beauty and such power and such charm that there are now sparks seventy-five feet long shootin' out of the grapevine and they now got five thousand of these little cats and kitties in the Nazz's home town where the cat live, lookin' to get straight. Well he knows he can't straighten'em there. It's too small a place to want to hang everybody up. So the Nazz backed away a little bit and he look at these cats and these kitties and he say, "Come on, babies. Let's cut on out down the pike."
And there went the Nazz, with these five thousand cats and kitties a stompin' up a storm. Behind them there's a great love river joy, it's goin' like a great chain through these gorgeous cats and kitties as they're swingin' along in the beat of the Nazz and the birds are flyin' on one side and singin' love songs to these cats and kitties and there's a great jubilee of love. And the Nazz talkin' about how pretty the hour, how pretty the flower, how pretty you, how pretty me, how pretty the tree. Nazz had them pretty eyes. He wanted everybody to see with his eyes and see how pretty it was.
And they're havin' such a glorious swingin' time that before you know it they were forty-two miles out of town and ain't nobody got the first biscuit. So the Nazz look at them cats and kitties and he say "You hungry ain't ya babies?" And the cat say, "Yea Nazz, say we's diggin' so hard what you puttin' down, heh-heh, we didn't prepare, say we goofed."
So the Nazz say, "Well, we gotta take it easy here We wouldn't want to go ahead and order up something you might not like, would we." And they said "Sweet double hipness, you put it down and we'll pick it up." And the Nazz step away a little bit and he put a glorious sound of love on. He said "Oh, sweet swingin' flowers of the field." And they said "Oh, great non-stop singular sound of beauty." And he said "Stomp upon the terra." They did. He said, "Lift your miracle of the body." The body went up. He said "Lift your arms." The arms went up. He said "Higher and higher." He said "Dig infinity!" And they dug it!
And when they did that, there was a flash of thunder, and in one hand was a great big stuffed sweet, swingin', smoked fish and in the other a long gone crazy loaf of that southern home-made, honey-tastin', sweet bread. Why, these poor cats flipped! Nazz never did nothin' simple, when he laid it, he laid it.
From "Lord Buckley In Concert" recorded live at the Ivar Theatre, Hollywood, California, Feb 12, 1959. - World Pacific Records/#1815 (Same cut as "Way Out Humor" & Blowing His Mind...")
Transcribed by Bob Merlin - NOTE: This doesn't do justice to the material! You have tp hear it. The best place to get His Lordship's stuff is on eBay. His son "Crown Prince Richard" sells a great collection on eBay. Click here to see what's available now.