While previewing Louisiana's new history and biology textbook I ran into ....
Unfortunately, with the end-of-the-world scheduled just before my Saturday midnight shift, it makes it hard to plan the program.
I'm a bit geeky about radio so while others were pondering the big existential questions associated with the end of the world at the promised "rapture," I was wondering how the Emergency Broadcast System would operate; "This is not a test, you will not be returned to regularly scheduled programming. Ever. Open the secret codes and follow the instructions. See if you get past step #3 before you kiss your butt goodbye."
Unfortunately, long before the scheduled rupture, I fell asleep. A deep drooling sleep. (So New Orleans, isn't it?) Now, I've just woke up and peeled the Cheez Nips off the side of my face. What happened? Did the rupture occur? Are we in heaven or hell or purgatory or limbo land? ("How low can you go?")
Ohhhhh, it's gonna be a tough show tonight. What songs to you play if you don't know whether you're deal or alive? I'm not ever sure which God or anti-God am I supposed to be apple polishing / brown nosing up to now? Is there some glass am I supposed to break in case of rupture? Better not use the elevator tonight. I guess I'll ride my bike down the stairs.
Okay radio geek, when in doubt, go to the Program Log. It has management and the FCC's performance mandates for show hosts. That baby will answer all my radio questions... except it is silent on the rupture / rapture.
Come on Jorge - what am I supposed to do? I'm not even sure of the proper wording for a legal station identification. WWOZ uhhhhh New Orleans ... earth ... heaven .... uhhhh on the escalator to heaven/hell.
Call me. I need direction. Need to know what is going on outside of the studio. Is it true that all drummers have been raptured and that all rhythm sections are like these guys?
P.S. Please don't let it be Rapture by Gort.